The Wallen Way

What is confidence? Here are my thoughts in the form of a list (#13... wow, what a plot twist).

Note: A version of this article originally appeared at Lifehack.

13 Things Highly Confident People Don't Do

If you want to be more successful in life, watch out for these thirteen things highly confident people don't do.

1. They don’t let fear control them.

Highly confident people know the thing they are afraid of doing is often the very same thing they need to do in order to succeed.

2. They don’t hide in a bubble.

Highly confident people avoid the comfort zone. This is a place where dreams go to die. Confident people do things that make them feel uncomfortable, because they know pushing your boundaries is mandatory for success.

3. They don’t sit around on their butt.

Highly confident people believe a mediocre plan executed today is better than an awesome plan executed someday. They don’t wait for the “right time” or the “right circumstances." They take action here, now, today.

4. They don’t play the blame game.

Highly confident people own their thoughts and actions. They don’t blame the traffic for being tardy at work; they were late. They don’t say things like: “I don’t have the time” or “I’m just not good enough”; they make the time and they keep trying until they are good enough.

5. They don’t worry about what everybody else thinks.

Highly confident people do aim to make a positive impact in the world. But they don’t get caught up in negative opinions they can do nothing about. They know their true friends will accept them exactly the way they are. They spend zero seconds worrying about the rest.

6. They don’t make fun of friends, co-workers, or strangers.

Highly confident people hate drama. They don’t talk crap behind people's backs, participate in workplace gossip, or make fun of people who don't share their beliefs. Every person deserves love and compassion. Confident people are totally comfortable in who they are and feel no need to be judgmental.

7. They don’t whine about a "lack of resources."

Highly confident people can make use of whatever tools they have, no matter how big or small. They know that all things are possible with creativity and resourcefulness. They don’t agonize over perceived shortcomings (hint: this is a story you make up inside your head). Instead, they focus on solving the problem.

8. They don’t give up on their dreams.

Highly confident people know they will suck at something the first time they try it (and that is 100% normal). They understand failure is an essential part of the learning process. They are like a detective, searching for clues revealing why one approach didn’t work. After a quick revision, they try again (but better this time).

9. They don’t stare at other people in group exercise classes.

Highly confident people know life isn't a competition. They compete with nobody except who they were yesterday. They know that every individual is so unique that drawing comparisons would be a waste of time anyway.

10. They don’t make a habit of people-pleasing.

Highly confident people have no interest in pleasing every person they meet. They are aware some friendships aren't meant to be. They focus on the quality (not quantity) of their connections.

11. They don’t need constant hand-holding.

Highly confident people know they are strong enough to handle tough situations on their own. They can’t predict the future (wouldn't that be nice?), so they can react in a positive way. 🙂

12. They don’t wait for permission.

Highly confident people act without hesitation. Every morning, they remind themselves: “If not me, then who?”

13. They don’t assume Internet advice is the Gospel truth.

Highly confident people don't automatically assume authors of advice articles are being genuine.

They sustain a healthy skepticism, make use of any info that is relevant, and proceed to discard the rest.

This was an interesting thought-exercise, but you are the only person who can decide what "confidence" means.

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Tags: confidence