How to Be a Good Boyfriend and Date-able Dude
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You’re dropping the ball, dudes. You need somebody to throw you a bone.
Based on the conversations I’ve had with female friends and personal observations (people watching), a lot of you suck at this dating thing.
I know you don’t like taking advice, but trust me. I’m not here to give you a hard time. Just trying to help. Word?
Ladies? Give me some “Amens” in the comments if you agree! Click ahead to discover how to be a good boyfriend.
All of you have different situations, so we’re going to discuss the three most common ones:
- Single, seeking a “significant other”
- Dating someone in a new relationship
- In a committed (long) relationship
We won’t be discussing Friends with Benefits, because that’s a terrible idea 99.9% of the time. Not my thing.
I’ll offer a few tips for guys in each stage of the relationship cycle, and close with some thoughts about online dating.
But I’m fully aware that more women read this than men, soooo ladies — you’re welcome to drop a hint to your boy by sharing this blog with him if he’s dropping the ball (you’re welcome).
Single and Seeking a Significant Other
#1 Nothing Is Sexier Than Confidence
Everything about you should express confidence.
That last one = what most of you are messing up, so let’s talk about that.
Shoulders down and back.
Gaze straight ahead.
(not at the floor)
Don’t be a slouch.
Upright and relaxed.
Be confident or perish (no pressure).
#2 The Clothes Make The Man
Don’t just take my word for it.
78% of women polled in this study said the hottest thing their mate could do is dress more sharply.
85% of women polled found a well-dressed man sexier than a rich man.
Don’t believe me? Prove me wrong.
Throw on a tie, nice slacks, and shined shoes.
Go hit the town.
If you can’t report that you got hit on, complimented, and/or had some pep in your step, I’ll buy you a beer.
#3 Engage Eye Contact
Don’t be a creeper and stare into the pits of her soul — that’s creepy and gross, bad.
But throw a few casual glances her way and see if she returns your gaze (if she does, this is good).
The initial conversation: keep it simple.
Don’t try to be funny.
Don’t try to impress her.
Confidently walk up.
Say, “Hi, how are you?”
If you’re concerned with nervousness, try to keep it fast.
Say something like, “Hey, listen–I’m on my way to an important meeting, but you really caught my eye. I hope this isn’t weird, but is there any way I could have your phone number?”
Keep it simple, stupid.
Yes, you’ll get some rejections. But you need to learn how to handle those, so suck it up and do it.
Dating Someone in a New Relationship
#1 Buy Her Flowers, Dammit
Dudes, they’re cheap. And they’ll make her day. Maybe even her week.
They don’t have to be expensive.
Go to your local grocery store. They have nice flowers that are reasonably priced.
Don’t spend $50-100 on something that’s just going to die. That’s silly.
But eh, a few bucks, it’s a sweet gesture, and she’ll so appreciate it (trust me!).
#2 Don’t Take a Sporty Chick to the Opera
Before you even plan a date, you need to find out some things about this person.
What’s she into? What makes her tick? What are her interests?
Armed with this knowledge, you can blow her mind with the best date ever. She’ll be amazed how thoughtful you are. What a guy.
Some things to consider…
Is she a “dinner and movie out” person?
Does she have a competitive streak (pool, bowling, putt-putt)?
Is she artsy (opera, theatre, art galleries)?
Is she a free spirit (completely unscripted trip on the road)?
Is she very physically active (hiking, biking, kayaking)?
You don’t want to take a sporty female to the opera.
You don’t want to take an artsy female to a baseball game (unless she’s into that, too).
Take the time to get to know her. You need to do this anyway if you’re serious about her.
#3 Listen with the Brain in Your Head (not the one in your crotch)
If you really like her, don’t blow it all in a moment of overwhelming libido.
It’ll happen when it happens (and it’ll be MORE AWESOME if you give her the time she needs).
Respect her wishes and don’t push the issue.
In a Committed (Long) Relationship
#1 Remember What Makes You Two Special
Make a point of reminding her why you fell for her in the first place.
Talk about your first date.
Laugh about that time you tried to be naughty in the elevator and got busted by the mall cops.
It’s easy to let a relationship stagnate as the months and years go on, but remembering your best memories together can help prevent this.
#2 Never Stop Doing Nice Things for Her
Is she sick at work? Bring her some hot tea or chicken noodle soup.
Has she had a stressful day? Surprise her with flowers or chocolates.
#3 Don’t Be a Pig
Do the dishes.
She isn’t your mother, she’s your partner.
#4 Never Let Intimacy Die
Hold hands, cuddle, kiss as much as possible, have sex.
Have kids? Make a sex-appointment when they’re at school or at the sitter’s.
#5 Don’t Let Your Relationship Get Moldy and Stinky
If you keep doing the same crap all the time, don’t be surprised when your relationship becomes moldy and stinky.
A person can only go on the same exact date so many times before they get bored.
Go to new places together (vacations, restaurants, clubs, towns).
Do new things together (card games, dance class, kayak, whatever).
Learn new stuff together (instrument, language, dance class, air guitar)
There is no excuse to let boredom kill your relationship.
If your girl is pushing you to do something new together, this could mean she’s getting bored.
This is your warning, so don’t ignore it.
A Note to Dudes w/ Online Dating Profiles
There’s Nothing Wrong with Meeting Someone Online
But… a photo of you in a wife-beater outside of your truck?
Uh, no. Try again.
Make yourself look decent this time.
Also, take the time to construct a profile in proper English that might impress a female.
There is no time-limit. You can spend as much time writing as you need to. So there’s no excuse to sound like an idiot.
Choose your words carefully.
Speak boldly about what you hope to achieve in life.
Have ambitions? Talk about them.
What makes you tick? Be real.
Your best strengths? Sell them.
Also, dogs are scientifically proven to be lady magnets.
Have a puppy son or daughter? Upload a photo of you two on your profile. Trust me.
My dog thinks she’s my girlfriend.
When I wake up, she has one paw on my knee and another on my chest (in the spoon position).
D’awwww cute, etc.
I <3 my dog so much I wrote a blog about her once.
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